Luigi's Grand Day Out
by Frogman128
Summary: After months of grueling preparation Luigi has finally crafted the perfect picnic, hopefully he'll be able to enjoy it.


**Luigis Day Out**

The morning sun shone through the evergreen hills and prairies of the mushroom kingdom, dyeing the lush scenery with a radiant orange tint. Amongst this sprawling landscape of bushes and forests, lied a small home. From it came a delightfully sweet smell, one that captivated the attention of several birds roaming the skies nearby.

However, as soon as the source of this delectable odor was within their line of sight (and promptly launched themselves towards it) a swift yellowish swipe deterred them from claiming their self-proclaimed prize, sending them flying back in terror to the forest from which they came.

"Leave my cannolis alone you ravenous beasts!" cried the exasperated owner of the broomstick, as he kept on shaking its golden fibers wildly in the air from the windowsill, no doubt trying to add a more threatening flair to his tirade.

Once the feathered fiends had retreated to the woods the man sighed in relief, as he placed the broomstick nearby the masterfully crafted pastries. A loving tender look claimed his features, as he took in every detail of his magnificent creations.

Their elegant tube-like shape emanated a welcoming warmth not unlike a fireplace during an implacable snowstorm, pearly white cream resided within their flour borne confines accompanied by multiple pieces of chunky shredded chocolate melting together like one would with their destined soulmate, with powdered sugar raining all over the ensemble of flavors as a finishing touch.

"You sure outdid yourself this time Luigi!" he said, pride brimming in his voice, as he took in (yet again) the sweet, intoxicating and glorious smell of the cannolis.

Picking up a nearby picnic basket, Luigi began to meticulously place the pastries inside a special container (custom made no doubt), placing it alongside plates, utensils, a picnic blanket and a premium, (select batch) imported bottle of Chuckola Cola.

Luigi laughed at himself, remembering all the trouble he went through just to acquire the coveted beverage. Thankfully, it was all but jovial anecdote material by now.

All of his hard work was finally coming to fruition; all of the pieces had fallen into place. "This will be the perfect picnic," he proudly thought to himself as he closed the handcrafted basket.

"Now what am I missing" Luigi asked himself, pensively stroking his chin and licking off some of the remaining sugar from his gloves. Like a fire flower rising from a mystery block, a flash of brilliance sprung up from Luigi's mind.

"Aha! Can't feast without a good read!" exclaimed the green-clad, mustachioed connoisseur.

Luigi went over to his prized bookshelf. From immersive fantasy tales to heart wrenching, slow burning romances (and the sporadic, quite well hidden appearance of self-motivating coaching books), the literature-ridden piece of furniture did immaculate justice in showing his clearly varied palate.

"Mmm let's see here" said Luigi, as he began to scan through the diverse set of titles "The Bullet Bill Bride? Mmm not quite what I'm looking fo-"

~DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DING DONG~

His train of thought had crashed abruptly, thanks to the lively melody of the doorbell. Slightly frustrated, but unwilling to let go of this momentum of self-enjoyment, he put on a bright smile and went over to attend his visitor.

…...…...

Luigi opened the front door, finding himself face to face with a young toadstool girl, fully dressed up in scout uniform. The green-clad man could only groan internally in annoyance, trying with all his might to keep up the welcoming façade.

"Hello! What can I do for you?" asked Luigi, a (not quite) subtle enough way, a forced smile etched across his face.

"Good morning Mr. Mario! I am here to support my troop and the local community! Would you care to help us by buying some of our homemade cookies?" cheerfully asked the bright eyed scout girl, as she proceeded to show several boxes of the sugary treats.

Thankfully, for her, that last statement successfully counteracted any negative outlook Luigi had gained from the girl, due to the erroneous denomination she had given to him.

"Cookies you say?" Inquired the mustachioed fellow, accompanying the question with a thoughtful hum.

"Yes sir! Chocolate chip of the finest quality" proudly remarked the young girl.

The foundations of tentative thought had been laid, being fought valiantly by the forces of logical reasoning. He already had his fair share of chocolate within his culinary concoction, "perhaps there can be such a thing as having too much of a good one" he thought.

The scout girl, taking notice of his moment of introspection, gained a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Sir I don't mean to be rude, but if you cannot come to a decision I'm afraid I'll have to pass on this lovely limited time offer to someone else," the young girl said, glazing her tone with terrifyingly saccharine kindness.

"Limited?" Luigi questioned, after having been broken out of his meditative state.

"Well" said the young girl, shifting her eyes, as she approached the man in an alert, secretive manner "just between you and me, we're handing off this amazing two for one deal to select members of our community, but you might just be exemplary enough to make that three for one"

Exemplary? He liked the sound of that. Three for one? He _loved_ the sound of that.

"So what do you say? Care to support our community?" asked the young girl, once again utilizing her masterfully practiced sugary tone.

"Deal" replied Luigi.

…...…...

Closing the door behind him, Luigi stared proudly at his most recent acquisition. He was tempted enough to open one of the boxes to take a bite, but his willpower forbade him from doing so.

"Not now Luigi, no bites until the picnic" he said to himself.

He quickly went back to the table in which the basket rested, adding the new member of the culinary ensemble to the container. Once he was done, Luigi went back to analyzing his literary pick for the occasion.

"Alright, now where was I? " Wondered the green clad man, as he grabbed one of the larger books (first edition) from the shelf "The Secrets of the Thousand Year Door? A bit too grandio-"

~DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DING DONG~

…...…...

"Yes?" Asked Luigi from the opened doorway, annoyance barely hidden in his voice. He was met by a rather, distraught looking toad woman, who found it difficult to even articulate a proper sentence.

"Oh p-please Mr. Mario! I need your help, my precious BowWow got stuck in a tree and I can't get him to climb back down!" she begged and blubbered, lips quivering, her reddish eyes nearly overflowing with tears. Luigi once again pretended not to take notice of the misnomer.

"I'll just jump and be done with it, how hard can it be?" Luigi thought to himself, as he accompanied the desperate woman throughout the edge of town, looking for her pet in peril. After all how difficult could a rowdy mutt or cantankerous feline be?

…...…...

"Who in their right mind gets a chain chomp as a pet, is that even legal?" angrily remarked Luigi, as he treated his wounds by consuming some of the leftover life mushrooms in the kitchen. He munched the medicinal treat with near tangible disgust and spite.

"And now I'm eating before the picnic, just great" he shouted in a frustrated manner, before a sudden realization filled him with dread and worry.

"My cannolis! They must've gone cold by now, oh dear!" he cried, running frantically towards the picnic basket to check on the temperature of his prized creations. Indeed, they were beginning to lose their characteristic warmth.

Luigi's mind worked in maximum overdrive "A fire flower?" he thought but quickly shot down the idea. He could not try to look for a mystery block; the Cannoli's would be ruined by then. Nor could he use the oven for he needed heat that could be controlled and bent to his every whim.

It all seemed lost, until a flash of brilliance shone through Luigi's self-defeating thoughts.

"Mario's secret power up stash!" he exclaimed, excitement and joy written all over. He ran towards his brothers empty room (off to his adventures as always) and quickly ran through the hidden compartment beneath his brother's bed. There it lay, shining like a miniature sun amongst it's less than radiant peers.

Luigi could barely contain a cry of happiness as he held the flower close to his heart "Yes! My cannolis are sav-"

~DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DING DONG~

…...…...

"What is it!?" screamed Luigi with urgency, though the elderly toad woman in front of him didn't seem to mind or (unluckily for our mustachioed fellow) couldn't register his shout as something other than a contained whisper.

"What was that?" she asked with a frail, yet kind and almost apologetic voice. Luigi could only stare at her, while the full horror of the situation dawned upon him.

"Oh Mario have you lost weight? That's wonderful sonny!" said the woman. Luigi simply closed his eyes, trying to maintain a semblance of composure "Ma'am I-"

"What was that?" she reiterated, cutting Luigi short "No time for chit chat sonny, I need your help! Nasty critters have invaded my home!"

Luigi screamed internally.

* * *

The elderly woman's house was a disaster of maddening proportions, less so because of its curious set of decorations and mismatching curtain colors, but rather the plague that had invaded it.

Several shellshockers and sidesteppers ran amuck the living room, breaking vases and furniture as they went. Others stayed in the kitchen trying to get themselves a quick snack; one can only live of sewer sludge for so long, before losing their sanity at least.

"The old lady's place ain't too shabby" laughed a blue sidestepper as he rummaged through the contents of the refrigerator.

"Fink fe fight fab fome Chuckola Cola hanging around?" asked a green shellshocker, swallowing the leftover casserole he had been munching on mid-sentence.

"Geez Larry! This place is nice and all, but does it look like a gourmet restaurant to you?" the sidestepper said to his companion in a reprimanding tone "Also don't speak with your mouth full, it's disgusting."

"Well forgive me for trying to have some actual taste buds here Richard!" said the Shellshocker, deeply hurt by his fellow critter's reprimands, before storming off the kitchen.

"Hey, where you going?" asked the sidestepper.

"I need to go to the bathroom" answered the shellshocker, in quite a haughty (yet still very much urgent) tone.

"We don't need to use bathrooms Larry…" flatly replied the sidestepper, clearly fed up with his companion's attitude.

"Not listening!" said the shellshocker from afar in a singsong voice.

The sidestepper sighed in frustration, while still trying to look for something that caught his eye. Between the oceans of health products, dubious looking casseroles and porridge lied a heavenly looking piece of mushroom steak. Even he knew that it reeked of quality.

"Hey Larry there's some fancy steak lying around, want some?" asked the sidestepper out loud, but his inquiry yielded no response, only silence "suit yourself, more for me then!" he exclaimed merrily.

However, before he managed to reach the leftover piece of gourmet filet, the sidestepper felt rather intense and sudden rise of temperature. Not even the cold confines of the refrigerator seemed to help much when it came to appeasing the sweltering heat.

"Man this place is getting hot! Are you messing with the thermostat again Larry?" he grunted as he tried to reach the far off piece of steak, and just like before, no answer came back "Larry? Anyone?"

…

A green flame loomed over the cannolis (at a reasonable distance) returning them to their desired conditions. Soon after, they were quickly packed and placed inside the basket again. A book had been picked from the shelf at random, and with haste.

"Just keep going Luigi" he said to himself, jumping from through the kitchen windowsill into the lawn, running as fast as he could, away from the dreaded paranoia that was now the doorbell.

A couple of minutes passed, and Luigi was already near the open area that many of the villagers preferred for their outdoors get-togethers. There were some families undergoing their own picnics, including a (rather troubled looking) couple with an exorbitant amount of food (for two at least).

Luigi sped right through them in search for a private place to enjoy the spoils of his efforts. Once he had finally reached a secluded area near the edge of the woods he sighed in relief, double-checking to see if anyone else was in the proximities. Much to Luigi's relief, no one was.

"Ah, finally some peace and quiet" said Luigi, who proceeded to set the stage for this meticulously planned occasion.

After placing the entirety of the basket on display, he sat down and ceremoniously lifted his custom-made cannoli container. He opened it and admired the contents as if all of the world's vast riches had converged.

Luigi was lost in the moment as he picked and held one of the cannolis, taking in every tiny detail (and smell) of the tube-shaped delicacy. He could barely contain his wild range of emotions as he proceeded to take the first glorious b-

"AAAAH! SOMEONE HELP US!"

AS he proceeded to take the first gloriou-

"HELP! WE DON'T WANNA DIE!"

A terrifying roar followed the loud screams, shaking the entirety of the forest and its edge. Upon hearing this, Luigi took off (though not without securing the cannolis in their container first, heaven forbid if the ants had their way with them).

* * *

He ran through the forest at vertiginous speeds, covering extra ground with his trademarked long jumps. Soon he had reached the source of the incessant screams of terror, and he too found himself joining the discordant chorus.

"SWEET MAMA'S SPAGUETTI! WHAT IS THAT?" Luigi shouted, with both incredulity and fear.

There stood a massive Piranha Plant, red as a molten lava and with an attitude to match. Endless rows of razor sharp teeth dripped an acid-like purple substance that seethed the ground as it fell. It held both a young toad boy and girl, one in each of its leaf-like appendages.

"Look someone came to save us!" cried the boy, tears of happiness flowing through his face.

"Please save us Mr. Green!" said the girl.

Both children screamed as the creature unleashed yet another deafening roar, Luigi wasted no time and unleashed a barrage of green fire in response. However, it was but a mere summer breeze to the botanical beast, and it only angered it further.

The monster gurgled and spat in retaliation, shooting an acidic blast toward the green clad man. Luigi had barely dodged the attack by jumping into one of the treetops, only to be shaken off as the monster bashed its head on the trunk, splitting it in half.

Luigi landed carefully, before avoiding yet another shoot of acid spray from the creature's mouth, "C'mon Luigi think!" he screamed internally all while evading more of the foul smelling blasts. This display of agility did not last for long however.

A very much inconvenient root had managed to trip Luigi as he successfully evaded the seventh spit, throwing him to the ground. The muddy dirt covering his face had temporarily blinded his sight, disorienting the unlucky chap.

"LOOK OUT MR. GREEN! BEHIND YOU" screamed the young boy.

"SHOOT FIRE INTO ITS MOUTH" shouted the voice of the young girl.

Their combined efforts broke Luigi out of his momentary adrift state. Heeding the girl's words, he turned and launched a massive fireball towards the tall-tale smell of the creature's fowl acid-like breath.

The beast's acid spit did not leave its mouth, for it began writhing in pain as the green flame coursed through its insides. It fell into the forest floor, letting go of both children as it lay coughing up green tinted black smoke.

Both of them sprinted towards Luigi, raining the man with words of gratitude and admiration. Luigi wiped his face clean from the forest mud to recover his lost visibility, all the while trying to keep up with the ongoing shower of praise.

"That was awesome mister!" said the boy, who kept on jumping by his side; no doubt trying to replicate Luigi's jumping feats.

"Thank you sir! Are you alright?" asked the girl kindly.

"Yes I'm ok" smiled back Luigi, though a stern frown promptly replaced his friendly grin "Just what were you kids doing out here?" he questioned, both with light exasperation and worry.

"I-I just wanted to go exploring" replied the young boy bashfully. Luigi however, took notice of the young girl's less than friendly expression following his statement.

"And mom and dad told me to take care of him, just so he wouldn't get lost" said the young girl haughtily, shooting a glare at her less than responsible brother.

"Yeah and you did SUCH a good job" shot back the boy with a spiteful glare of his own.

"Hey! I got the idea to shoot fire inside that things mouth!" the girl countered, indignated by her brother's attitude.

"Mr. Green here did all the work" said the boy rather pompously, pointing at Luigi with arrogance and turning a blind eye at his sister's reactions.

"Well it's not my fault we got stuck in this mess in the first place" she screamed back, before stomping the muddy ground, practically fuming.

"Alright that's enough!" shouted Luigi, he was no stranger to sibling quarrels and as such, he knew better. The two siblings upon hearing this scolding were now hanging their heads low in shame. Luigi sighed regretfully at the sight.

"Let's just get you back to your parents, alri-" he said in a tired yet calm tone, until abruptly cutting his sentence short. Luigi's mouth laid wide open and his eyes were bulging (so much so that they might have rolled out of his head) as he stared flabbergasted. This inevitably drew the attention of both siblings, as a deep-seated tension engulfed them.

"Uh…mister, what's wrong?" asked the young boy. Gone was his tone of mockery, now replaced by one of unnerved worry.

For a moment, it seemed as if the boy's words had reached a pair of deaf ears, until Luigi slowly lifted his hand and pointed forwards, never once breaking his line of sight.

Before they could even comply Luigi's directions, the siblings froze as they felt a slow, yet colossal movement happening behind them, cracking through branches and leaves, the earth itself seemed to shift. That feeling was soon followed by an all too familiar, menacingly deep growl, one that shivered the three to the marrow.

As fast as emerald lightning, Luigi picked up both siblings, carrying each of them in one arm. Blood pumped through his legs like never before as he made a run (and jump) for it through the forest and not far behind him was the beast, tearing down everything in its path.

The screams of terror of the siblings came off as tiny whispers to Luigi during the chase, due to a mixture of adrenaline, the creature's deafening roars and his own barely contained fear.

Soon they reached the edge of the forest, Luigi's picnic in sight, but the monster was nearing them as the man's energy began fading. In one last effort, he prepared a mighty jump to further the distance between them and the beast, his legs tightened and sprung into the air like steel springs.

However, the beast had managed to strike Luigi in the back at mid-jump, and even if it had not been a blast of acid breath, that was still enough to knock the currently falling plumber unconscious (as well as his clothing's color scheme).

Both siblings closed their eyes and screamed, bracing for the inevitable impact. Thankfully for them, their shouts and cries had once again proved effective as they woke Luigi out of his unconscious state. It was not enough for a safe landing, but it was to break the fall.

Luigi and the siblings laid sprawled over the ground, besides his most magnificent culinary ensemble. However, Luigi did not waste time being enraptured by the sight for the ground shook behind them, as if a huge weight had been removed from it ever so suddenly. As Luigi turned his head, he saw that the creature had made a mighty leap of its own, brandishing its hideous saw-like teeth, maw wide open to swallow them whole as it fell.

Using the last of his strength Luigi jumped in the brink of time, taking the siblings with him and out of the beast's trajectory. The ground collapsed as the creature landed and snapped its terrifying jaws, biting through dirt, grass and stone alike.

Luigi saw the horrifying spectacle with disgust and impotency, though what surprised him most was that there had been no need to continue with the chase. The beast seemed to gain a hint of intrigue in its seemingly featureless head as it chewed. It eventually stopped baring its teeth while doing so, adopting a method of chewing that was very much analytical and pensive.

"At least someone got to enjoy it" said Luigi with a deflated and whispered tone, as he furthered distanced himself and the children from the beast.

His heart almost stopped when the creature came across something amongst the mixture causing it tremendous disgust. It began to bare its fangs once again. However, once the beast spat out the culprit of its revulsion, Luigi's feeling of dread soon turned into one of both relief and indignation.

"That little scammer" he thought while staring in bewilderment at the slime covered cookie box.

Once the beast had finally finished its colossal bite, (and following a gargantuan belch) a genuine smile showed on its featureless face. Its blood red coloring turned a docile blue, and its size shrunk down to even less than that of a newborn goomba. The diminished creature then turned around, and merrily crawled its way back into the forest.

"What the?" was all Luigi could utter, before the young girl opened her eyes and began to look around.

"Are we dead yet?" cried the boy, eyes still tightly shut.

"No you doofus were alive!" replied the girl, her voice shining with joy.

Luigi chuckled heartily at the sight, carefully placing both of the siblings back to the ground. The boy peeked from his covered eyes, slowly uncovering his face.

"We're alive!" shouted the young boy victoriously, running towards his sister and hugging her, tears of joy overflowing his face "I'm sorry" he inelegantly blubbered at his sister.

"Apology accepted" said his sister as she embraced him back with tears of joy of her own.

Without warning, they forcefully imposed their tearful embrace of gratitude to their unsuspecting green clad hero. After a shout of surprise, and some pats on the head of equal appreciation from his part, the siblings let go and began to shower praise upon Luigi once more.

"You're the best Mr. Green!" exclaimed the young boy, raising both of his fists in a celebratory gesture.

"Too bad someone's picnic had to cover for us" remarked the young girl, staring at the massive hole in the ground the beast left behind.

"It's just a picnic basket, don't worry about it" said Luigi, a small smile on his face.

"Speaking of picnics, I'm starving!" said the young boy, caressing his grumbling belly, both his sister and Luigi laughed at his exaggerated display of hunger.

"Come with us sir, mom made plenty of food!" said the girl, tugging at Luigi's sleeve.

"I don't wanna be a bother kids, let's just go find your parents" kindly replied Luigi, as he began walking away from the forest, the toad siblings by his side.

* * *

On their way back, Luigi made out two figures in the distance, to which the siblings immediately recognized. They cried in joy as they ran towards their parents, and so did them.

Luigi smiled warmly at the scene, but as he began walking away the young girl's voice halted him almost immediately.

"Hey! Where are you going mister?" the young girl asked while embracing her mother, eyes red and puffy.

"I already told you I don't wanna be a bother, besides I'm tired" replied Luigi with an apologetic smile, shoulders hunched over.

"Please join us sir, we can't begin to thank you enough" the children's mother stepped in, her eyes equally filled with tears and her voice breaking as much as it was kind.

"Yes! My wife cooks a mean steak, I'll bet you'll be asking for seconds" her husband stated proudly, as he embraced their son.

Luigi sighed and relented, but not without showing an earnest smile on his face. The rest of the afternoon went on marvelously, from the epic (if slightly over-exaggerated) re-telling of the day's events told by the young girl, to her mother's exemplary cooking. Just as her husband had predicted, Luigi wasted no time asking for another serving.

Only one thought crossed Luigi's mind (outside of deep admiration and appreciation for the quality of the steak) as he took another bite out of the juicy filet.

"I really did have the best picnic after all"


End file.
